…I am quitting this dating thing…(part one)

A while ago I completed writing this post , only in my head.

Well where do I start? From the beginning I guess would be the best place to start. The only challenge with that is I don’t even know anymore, where the beginning is or the start so I will just dive in.

At the beginning of this year (2017) I decided to be brave and signed myself up at a dating website. I wanted one that guaranteed anonymity because, 1. I am a professional what would my employer think if this were to come to light, 2.Surely someone like me can never be desperate to a point where they look for love online , again anonymity had to be on point. Being a south African educated black woman finding a man should never be an issue according to societies standards, but looking for love online is totally frowned upon, apparently it’s an option only reserved for people who have things to hide, those who are ugly, those who cannot hold proper conversations in person, the list goes on and on, basically it all boils down to, if you are looking for love online you had to be desperate.

Anyway I digress




I signed up and I was as honest as I could be without divulging much of personal information, needless to say I attracted loads of suitors from all over the world. As with normal dating I had to scale the list down and limit communication to those I thought I had a thing or two in common with based of cause on what one has either told me or listed on their profile.


Two weeks in, one guy proved to be the ultimate match and so the talks quickly escalated to setting up dates to meet. It so happened that guy already had a planned trip to South Africa (wow, what a conterminous I thought, a good one nonetheless).Before guy could come to South Africa though I noticed a predisposition I was not really comfortable with, though I like talking on the phone for hours, Guy’s calls lasted for hours on end to a point where you run out of things to say you only left with the mmhs and aahhs. One day guy calls, I did not pick up as I was busy at work. When I checked my phone fifteen minutes later I had twenty seven missed calls from the same person and about eight voice messages.You would think that would have noted the red flags right there and then.

Guy eventually get to South Africa, we agree to meet. He comes with his friend whom he was on tour with, the person looked like he was suffering from insomnia, never mind the fact that pants were hanging like he had borrowed them from an uncle who happened to be a few centimetres taller than him. Flabbergasted as I am I sit down with them, they order food, I order water but I could not keep quiet anymore I asked about his state. The response was “Oh I haven’t slept so much because we are busy with the tour and its taking its toll on me etc”, and the pants I asked, “No I lost weight I used to be bigger than this “, I nodded (thinking but does losing weight equal to gaining height?).

Halfway through my bottled water I had to excuse myself…

To be continued.



4 thoughts on “…I am quitting this dating thing…(part one)

    • Well… in hindsight gossip isn’t really the word is it? Like uhhh…. whispers and giggles at a girls only sleepover? Okay I’m trying too hard now. Hurry though! Lol

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