We have what they call a ‘HELLO STRANGER WEATHER’ today, and that means myself and most women I know we have to arm ourselves the texts that would be pouring in from long forgotten suitors.
Hey its been a minute/
Hey what are you doing later after work?
Hey wanna grab a bite later today?
Hey, have you seen the happiness movie yet?
Got me thinking ( which is something I rarely do, to think that is)
I am slowly beginning to think maybe my aunt is right; maybe I am too pernickety when it comes to Love, but why is being choosy a such a bad thing?
Maybe being fussy is not the word my aunty should use; maybe it’s more of fear than being too choosy. Who fears love you might ask, not me I don’t fear love, if anything I crave it every day I long to love and be loved, but I fear ending up with someone I am not totally mad head over heels totally into and have to spend the rest of my life with that person.
But you can grow to love someone, some say
You can equally grow to resent someone I say.
When did this all begin, let me back up a little.
See I grew up in a very warm friendly home, my parents took pride in taking people in, be it a relative or someone they knew through someone, pretty much anyone if there was space available they were always willing to assist.
At some point in our lives we took in a distant aunt of ours, who happened to be fourteen years older than me. So when she came for a short stay with us she was twenty eighty with a solid marriage of eight years under her belt, two lovely children a boy and a girl no picket fence but a definite – picture perfect family.
But why did she had to come and stay with us for a while if her family was that great? Not sure but I can tell you about her.
She would lazily walk in from work casually throwing that expensive bag of hers in the nearest couch she could find as if she wasn’t aware of the price tag. Then it will all start, every afternoon without fail, she would go on and on about how her husband did not deserve her, how many suitors she had prior to him, how his family never liked her and her ‘ways’. My mother, the voice of reason she is, would try and reason with her. She would protest claiming my mother did not live with them and therefore didn’t know how her husband was, in that my mother would tell her even though she didn’t know the husband she knew her very well, she knew the type of a person she was because she grew up in front of her that would put an end to that conversation almost instantly only fading away with traces of silent grumbles from my aunt.
- My aunt felt she married lower than her – in terms of her own personal standards, I don’t want that. I want to be in a relationship with someone whom I feel I am on equal footing with. I do not want to feel like I am doing anyone a favour by them being in a relationship with me.
- She was so uncomfortable being single, ended up marrying the first person who asked: She was twenty when she got married, I get it times were different then, but I don’t want that, I want what I want how I want it. I made that mistake first time around, giving into to peer pressure I will not do it again.
- My aunt’s husband must have been the best looking amongst his group of friends , till this day he still looks pretty
I am not saying I intentionally go for the not so good looking guys because I believe they have smashing personalities NO! All I am saying is, looks don’t really capture and consume my attention in a man.I love pretty looking things, I like to look at them feed the eye but it’s never the be it and all. I consider practicality more than appearance.
I have never been into very good looking man, if I had dated one it must have been by pure chance definitely never intentional. Looks are looks and that’s just that it ends there, what good is a handsome man with a stinking personality?
I consider what I am looking for fair enough, I mean I do not ask for much, why then does it get harder and harder. Do I need relationship training like my other friend had suggested?
am I really too picky?
..Just a few thoughts as I sip on this spicy latte…