I hate to admit it, but round about this time every year I tend to miss Cape Town a lot, you know why? Because it’s the wedding season. No I don’t mean the western kind, I m referring to the makoti ,tsiki type. Those of you who might not be familiar with the term Makoti, here’s my attempt in describing what Makoti is:
Makoti : a newly acquired slave in a form of a woman usually between the ages of eighteen up to fifty six depending where you are the age varies it could go up to seventy seven. Main responsibility ideally is to be a helper not an equal to the husband. The husbands family may use their new item whichever way the want to.
Characteristics, Duties and responsibilities.
For one to get the privilege of being a makoti they have to have the following traits
The quieter the better, this is a sure way of scoring points or winning over your in-laws.
Again the more timid you are the most likely you will be loved
Someone who has the ability to wake up as early as three o clock in the morning everyday Monday to Friday, by the time the in-laws are up ,the breakfast should be ready and have been warmed atleast three time
4. An ability to obligate children
The sooner the better! Else if you are not pregnant by month two a meeting will be called with the entire family to discuss your inability to reproduce, depending on which side the husband is, an alternative plan may be made for him to go and test his capabilities to produce children out side of the marriage hundred percent approved by the elders, and the Makoti will have no say in this. It’s important to also note that the first child has to be a boy; the makoti will have to make sure that this happens by hook or crook, failure to have a first born boy child may lead to serious insults and the love cup deteriorating.
A way through a man’s heart blab blah blah, of cause you don’t have to take my word for it, but if you want to be a loved Makoti better up your skills in this area, however in your attempt hold your horses do not introduce foreign dishes not known by the family because that will be an automatic point discounter against you, we know you don’t want that.
6.Be a good confidant
Of cause your mother in law is not a gossiper she just has a lot to share, when she shares her frustrations she has with other family member, it is your duty as makoti to keep that as confidential as possible, remember before you arrive this family was a very close knit unit and you undeniably do not want to be the one flouting that up.
7.Unmarried friends are a No No
Whether you have known Sibongile since you were both on diapers its irrelevant, once you became a makoti you get a new name, new surname, new identity basically the old is gone, meaning you are not to have any contact with your old friends especially if they are not nuptial, You also do not want to anger your in-laws now by having male friends let’s not even go there.
8.Forget about your Religion
What religion?, if your in-laws are witches best gets yourself ready to fly that broom girl , remember you do what they do and dance to whatever music is played.
9.Did I mention Respect?
If your husband has sisters young or old you are not to call them by their names, never look them in the eye when in conversation with them, that’s disrespect. What their kids are spoilt brats what?? No ways their kids are angels and no you do not ask what happened to their father(s) it’s none of your business stay in your lane.
10.Money Money Money
Any self-respecting Makoti knows that her money is not hers; it should be used for anything and everything in-laws related, AFTERALL, if you are not building you are not a good enough Makoti…
So if you all ladies want to be makotified (I just made this word up), check the list