…Nothing cool about hardknock life…

’Really! You look so good for someone who is not working’

If I had a penny every time someone uttered the above to me, I would be a millionaire by now (in South African rands ofcause). What does it mean? How should an unemployed person look like? It got so bad to a point where I would sometimes lie because I did not want to hear the above. It’s usually followed by the famous:

But are you looking though?’ which I am always tempted to answer with a

‘No of cause not, I just park ,myself around the house the everyday play with my balls , when they start to get itchy I take a nap’ but because I was raised well, I politely answer with a humble yes, with a smile, pronounce all the recruitment agencies I have been to.

‘Maybe you are too fastidious; you should take whatever comes your way just to get back in the game’.

Yeah right, that’s no different from saying to a single person they must accept a date from whoever asks, never mind what they want or what they are bringing to the table. In simple terms get onto a vagrant mode, but wait, I have seen beggars throwing food right back at the people who gave it to them because they wouldn’t just accept anything while they beg.

‘So how do you get by, why don’t you say? Is there anything I can do to help’?

In all fairness this usually comes from a genuine place, you would think I would have mastered the art of responding to this one but I haven’t.

‘Wait a minute; weren’t you starting your own business?

Well my business is doing so well, haven’t you seen me making headlines lately, it’s doing so great, I literally have to be up by five so I am ready to turn my customers away, it’s so exhausting.(business people problems , ha ha).

‘Why don’t you forward me your CV/Resume I am not promising anything but, you’ll never know you know, maybe you could subcontract for us

…two and a half hours later…

‘Hey darling it’s me, oh dear you are so over qualified , my goodness your resume looks so great, would you like to grab dinner sometime so we can go over what I have in mind?’

You are tempted to bang the phone against the wall, but you cannot should it slip through your hands it’s over , not only will you be unemployed, unfriendlable( self made word) but you will be phoneless too, so you calm you self down , text back and accept the dinner invite. The conversation doesn’t even make a turn towards your resume , all you hear is how beautiful you are, how kissable your lips look like, you endure , you don’t want to seem aggressive or too frantic ( But come one) deep down you are dying. The dinner draws near to an end he’s still going on and on about the things he would like to do to you, eventually you cannot take it anymore you .You politely excuse yourself from the table, as you stand up, the sorry excuse for a human being murmurs something like ‘oh going to the little girls room huh, wish I can be that toilet seat (eeeeeuuuuuwwwwwwww) with a tone so annoying  you want to puke all the food you  have ever had in your entire existence’,

Right there and there you lose it…


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