….No child’s play…..

Men are usually calmer thats why they make the best leaders bla blah blah ,women on the other hand tend to be too emotional,could I have used the calmness that comes with being a man when I heard this——–>“Your kid is a boy? Gee wheez then you still have a long way to go “let me tell you boys hurt themselves they do the most atrocious things to themselves it’s just how they grow up its part of being a boy child, girls on the other hand sneak out through the window at night to go to Parties” Said my colleague who’s pushing seventy with a broad permanent smile, meanwhile I’m thinking, Really colleague is that the best you can come up with under the circumstances? I know that he meant well but….I don’t know.I’m back at work after being off for only two days since my son had a bike accident on Friday afternoon. Ofcourse I wasn’t expecting an entourage of drum majorettes for a welcome back but seriously is that what people say to people these days? Was is not enough that I was sort of working from home while taking care of my kid, to add to that my assistant calls me at 7:55 while I’m racing on the highway to get to work, (taking orders from the hr lady of course) asking if I will be at work I mean hello what was the point of calling this person and informing her about what was going on and now I’m being harassed really. Okay, okay maybe I am exaggerating a little but all those calls even the ones from clients felt like I was being harassed just a little.Me thinks is this the part where one has to lean in?

“You have a 9:30, okay really where here? No its offsite (ok great why didn’t anyone think of informing me about this in the mist of the 201 calls I was receiving?)So no morning coffee for you,off you go as unprepared as you are just (WO)Men up. As I was getting in the swing of things, the dreaded call now arrives it’s the school. ”Mom your child is not well he’s crying grouchy of stomach cramps must be the antibiotics maybe, I  have him lie down a bit but I …”  it’s okay I’m on my way. I must say though I am getting better at this crying thing some days are better than the others forsure. So my boss tells me to be careful on the road and know that God looks after us and our kids – of course I always find comfort in knowing that nothing just happens, but sometimes one can’t help but wonder.

It’s a Friday afternoon I am worn-out from a fundraiser for the school, just as I finish taking off my shoes I hear a faraway shriek that sounds like my son’s I jump peep through the window its him held by two security guards covered in blood I panic let out a squeal , I swear had I not stopped for a second I would have jumped off the balcony, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw, and so I try to pull myself together and I tell myself stop crying will you? You are going to scare him and so I stop. Think fast ,okay car keys lets go, so as I speed off our gate my son manages a murmur through a blood covered face “mom please put your safety belt on, traffic cops” As I say a silent prayer I am thinking “Thank God he can talk now that’s a relief” and so I start calling whoever I can get a hold of, at the same time texting my siblings on whatsapp,how is this going to help though all these people are like over 10 000 km away and so I call my friend  Nandz who never hesitates within minutes she met us at the hospital. Long story short after everything has been done, early hours of Saturday morning on our way home so I assumed this is probably the best time to have the talk with my help(er) childminder.Now anyone who knows me know that I lose it especially if it’s something to do with my loved ones, but honestly I think I am ageing well. Before the talk with the help I had a talk with thy self that went like….It’s okay it could have been worse thank God he’s out of danger it could have happened in your kitchen with you present, he could have tripped and fell off the stairs you know, take it easy.

Sisi how did it happen that my son was riding the bike without the helmet on? Sorry sisi she says pretending not to hear…okay I breath in and out and start again, what I  am asking  is, was there reason for him to be on his bike without the helmet on ?when I constantly tell you to make sure that he wears it all the time,you see me every day nagging him about it why wasn’t he wearing it?Oh well sisi I don’t ride a bicycle the person who does should make sure that he has it on,you see me I forget.Excuse me we talking about a seven year old here. Yes but he’s the one who rides so it’s his responsibility to make sure that it’s on always. REALLY?? of course I know you think I am making this up but I am not I swear to God. Okay let’s phrase this differently. Do you understand the reason for you to be here? Yes I do I am here to look after him but I forget too. Okay I give up.

Maybe she’s right, maybe when she was his age she could do everything for herself right – Super child huh? I mean who needs a mom never mind a child minder.

“You see that’s why Peter’s dad refuses to buy a bike for Peter it’s dangerous, says my sister, and I am thinking Come on really? Come on!!!! I don’t know maybe she was as shocked as me and therefore didn’t know what to say. Just like my friend who said…”You see that’s why we don’t have a nanny/child minder they can be useless, when we working late etc we ask our uncle to look after our little one, Wow KUDOS You have an uncle…newsflash!!!! I don’t have family in Gauteng Do you think if I had family around here I would hire help? Oh no but the classic had to be from daddy dearest… You see daddy fell off the bike and broke his leg when he was 10 that’s why I will never buy you one….Are you kidding me I am running up and down raising this child all on my own, trying to be the best mom I can within the limited resources I have, are you seriously going to crucify me for buying him a bicycle and excuse me that’s the best you can say to your kid while he’s in pain??COME ON!!!!

Cars kill people but do we ever stop driving? People drown while swimming should we empty the pools? How about the ocean? Accidents happen every day it’s one of the unfortunate things about this thing called life.

While there are still more lessons to be learned in life I feel that one can never be too careful, my son is now totally annoyed at me because I am watching him like a hawk. Yes its okay I will lose sleep over this if need be,God knows it’s hard but hey indlovu ayisindwa ngumboko wayo right.

The one good thing that came out of this is that my contact list has now been reduced by 80% I mean what is the point of having people in your contacts when they can never come thru for you when you need them the most.

This is still a touchy one for me as he hasn’t healed properly yet but this is my let out,,,,,But the bravery though Jesus my son is brave makes me want to cry all the time when I think about last Friday but hey…

Single parenting is no child’s play…


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