….On not winning the best Mom Award…

So I started the school year with a bang and all, promising myself that I will not mess up this year, I had to tell myself this and actually act on it or else my mom will be on the first bus to Johannesburg to save my son from his incapable mom called – Me. Alright she probably will never go to that much dimension but something tells me that my mom does not have much faith in my parenting skills – must be all mothers right? Over protective of their grandchildren, how they are raised, where they go to school the kind of nourishment they live on etc. Or maybe it’s a longing to mend mistakes made long time ago while raising their own children I don’t know. Whatever it is I have never wanted my mom next to me as much as I did the past two weeks. I am usually not intimidated BUT I am telling you there is just something about my son’s new school that just kind of force me to be on a straight and narrow, dish my torn jeans and tees for an ankle long skirt, throw in a Hijab if I must, whatever just be a perfect mother right now. What am I doing wrong if my 6-year-old doesn’t know what he wants to do when he’s grown, when some grade 2 mothers to 7-year-old know that their kids want to go to Harvard to study medicine, wait he’s 7 yet he knows about Harvard? What that’s it no more TV for my son unless he’s watching ‘Business today or National Geographic.

Most things should come with a formula a step by step guide because you see the way things are done at grade 1 changes dramatically as the child progresses to the next grade; mind you we still talking formative most elementary years. I thought I had prepared everything I needed that is as per the school terms by the 1st of January I was all set and ready to go.

  1.   Uniform
  2.  Stationery
  3.  Electronics

But I am telling you after checking and re checking with admin that nothing more was needed, I still found myself being the odd parent out, come the official 1st day of school. So as we were getting out of the car my son dressed to the nines in school uniform of cause I noticed that I was the only parent without any boxes or shopping bags and I thought ‘Great somebody decided to hide this little information from me so that I can look bad wonderful, what is inside these bags anyway? So I asked ‘teacher’ huh it turns out I left a whole lot of essentials  mmmh, apparently an email went out but somehow it never reached my mailbox, there as you may have it 100 points down  most disorganised parent ever. Teacher bolsters me though that it’s only the first day I need not panic I must just get the rest of the stuff and bring it with to school the next day. We managed to get the uniform right (I will take a silver star for that) I wanted to laugh at the parents who had their kids in sportswear instead of formal wear’ I wanted to whisper “Wrong day sport is Tuesdays and Thursdays “but who am I? Hello mind the fragment in your own eye. Off I went unwavering to sort the list once and for all. Can somebody tell me since when did primary school became so complicated? What on earth is a chair bag, do they even sell that at the shops or do I have to get some old granny to seam it for me my son rather. Two days no luck every store is out of stock, my son making me feel  just how much of a failure I am every chance he gets (wonder where he learned to be this sarcastic, sweet Jesus).

Why wasn’t I born a stepford wife, oh wait they aren’t born they are made. On a serious note though everyone except me in that school is way too organised maybe they are not overly organised I am just messy I still think they have 29 hours in one day where as I only have 24  – so not fair. FFWD I am on the phone with my sister

Me : Hey sis

Sis : Hey, you good?

Me : Yea I am man except that I forgot son’s school bag at home this morning while dropping him off at school

Sis : (Screaming on top of her lungs) Oh my word hay nawe how do you forget a bag?

Me : I suppose I rushed mindful of not being late you know ?

Sis :  No I don’t know ,but to forget a bag C’mon

Me : But there’s nothing in it besides a water bottle

Sis : But still I mean really how do you??

Me hangs up, make a u turn towards home, phone rings its mom ignore it keep driving, get the school bag, off you go drive back another 10 minutes drop the bag at school and off you go. Out of all that madness that morning, seeing my son’s face lights up the way it did as I show him the bag while in a que to go to class – PRICELESS.As I rushed off to the car I passed another teacher that greeted me with “oh so you the sexy mama that forgot the child school bag at home” Where are we? I mean really news travel that fast?

So here’s why winning this award will remain nothing but a dream….

  1. I am not perfect Never will I be I can only do the best I can – But I promise never to forget the bag if it means putting it in the car the night before every night so be it.
  2. I don’t wear Stilettos on a Saturday during the day unless I am going to a funeral or wedding  I am not about to start now for parents school meeting
  3. Never will I trap myself in a Freakum on a Saturday morning to attend the parents meeting, it’s a Saturday can I be free to be me?
  4. Application forms for extra mural activities will always be submitted late because you see I am not a Stepford wife, for me to sign my son up for anything extra I have to do the cost-benefit analysis first, sleep over it over a night or two – Hope I will be forgiven for this.
  5. At home we don’t celebrate birthdays before they actually are meaning – if my son’s birthday is on a Saturday the school party will be on a Monday after not before –It’s just how we do things really.(makes sense?)
  6. As long as I am single I will continue to attend school meetings solo I can’t afford to rent a hubby or fiancé just so I can fit in  Stepford family.

I suppose this means I will take the “Can we focus on the core award”


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