Black women more of Volunteers than Victims….
Tried coming up with a rather beguiling title but as you can see I failed, must be all the fatigue from preparing for the exam, phew at least I can breathe a little for the next two months or so. Can’t remember what I was looking for in the net but I bumped into an old article written by Deborah Cooper here’s a snippet—– “Black women are wasting their lives sitting in church patiently following their Pastor’s mandate that they wait for love to come. It is my stance that these Pastors have a vested interest in keeping thousands of women single and in service to their churches.” These of course are her views based on her life experiences what she observed in and around her space it is definitely not bible. I couldn’t help but find it interesting how church has been blamed for society’s ills… she went on to say
“Black women feel religion is very important to them, and about 60% attend services at least once per week. Black men, however, are almost twice as likely as Black women to be unaffiliated with any particular religion. Well, what does all that mean? It means that Black men are not going to be sitting up in church on Sunday or any other day! Black churches are full of lonely Black women praying and waiting on the Lord to send along a husband instead of getting outside of the church, placing themselves in environments where eligible bachelors are.” Sounds familiar? Not entirely depends where you from. From where I come from I would say about 80% of women attend church more than men do. I mean I know my mother used to tell us that our dad was never copious of a church person especially in their formative years of marriage not sure what changed. Most guys I know could not be bothered much about church not that they are non-believers, oh they believe alright. I remember we were going through some rough patch him and I and so he wanted us to meet and talk. “Okay then I have a business brunch Sat morning, let’s do lunch Sunday so we can talk, and I was on some ‘’Sunday is out you know I’m doing church, afterwards lunch with the girls” Wait for his response “But Andz, church is not compulsory moss you can skip it” ha ha ha yes I laughed but deep down I knew he was right, Heck nobody was going to punish me for missing church one Sunday, I definitely wasn’t headed for hell either….Back to the snippets
Cooper declared that there are basically four types of single men that can be found in church, and deems them all undesirable. “There’s the loser guy, down on his luck and in recovery of some sort, working a 12-step program. Then we have the guys that are confused about their sexuality seeking guidance and forgiveness. Another large segment of the single male population in churches are nothing but opportunistic players on the prowl, playing games with the lonely, intimacy starved females there. You’ll also find quite a few elderly ex-players that realized they should slow down and find a wife so they won’t have to die alone.”…That’s basic I am almost certain if one were to look more closely there are more than just four types (you know I’m veracious, remember Tom? ,how about Mandla yes that one who never touched a glass of water without praying for it first only to turn out a ploy, come on now don’t act like you never met a thirsty brother, remember the lead singer yes girl you know Tito was pressed alright ,should I go on). If you have been to my church you know that’s true, If you are black and you are a women you know damn well that the number of males who go to church to PREY outweighs the number of those who are sincere and really there to actually PRAY.
Women as clever species as they are but when it comes to cerebral around religion men definitely give us a run for our money. Why on earth we think that just because they worship they are not human’s is just beyond me. Despite the fact that one will be some big shot executive at work that calls the bangs, speaks and men listen and act ,come Sunday morning 360 turn around sister be on some yes daddy no daddy (What happened to the ferocious Exec?) yes daddy I will pray some more ,yes daddy I will give Lawd knows the harvest is plenty ,all that respect (head bowed hands clasped together sideways)to a man 16 years her junior at church all in the name of what?
Deborah went on to suggest that Black women reduce their dependence on churches and Black men as the sole source for fulfilment of their romantic needs. She openly advocates that church be reduced to a minimal component of a single woman’s social life “Instead of sitting in church all the time, get out and go where men are! Broaden your horizons and interact with some of the great single guys of other cultures, other races and other religions.” By the way is Christianity not about going out there and preaching the word? Why then be duty-bound to limit ourselves, could it be that we don’t want to be unequally yoked?
Some commenter said” Black women, in their right minds; go to church to hear a word from the Lord… not to look around the sanctuary seeking a mate. Be still & seek the Lord for guidance (rolling my eyes, eeumm the latter part might not be entirely true), Say what when there’s an alter call for those who want to get married who gets prayer for the most? Oh wait by the way there’s never such an Alter call see we have to be modest about this marriage thing .REALLY?
Church is not something that you do. It is who you are. (Totally agree)
So where am I going with this? What’s the point of this article? If you happen to read this maybe you can help me understand a few things about black women, church, dating, marriage etc.
1. Why do black women let other people think for them to a point where a so called pastor will tell you that your mate isn’t good for you why? He should be born again, spirit filled; tongues talking, where are we elementary?
2. I’ve seen people I care about waiting for man of God to come sweep them off their feet ,I know a few who are still waiting ,hurrying 40s what needs to happen a burning bush?
3. To those who have found the Godly man at the sanctuary in Pastors Jesus’s feet, what was the sign? Was it the lightening or the 10 plagues?
ARE WE REALLY VICTIMS TO THE CHURCH OR ARE WE VOLUNTEERS?