…Side Friend…

My arm hurts I want to blame Satan or the devil better yet can I not blame the witches? I am dog tired it’s been a rather hectic week with exams this and that. Donna calls she misses me and she wants to catch up over coffee (no she’s not my therapist) she’s a friend. I always slog my feet when I have to meet up with her, duck and dive not because I don’t like her as a friend but simple because I don’t think that she gets me. I honestly don’t think that she can relate to my many issues and this is because Donna happens to be white, it’s sad but true. You might think what does skin colour have to do with friendship, a friendship knows no colour eeuuhm – it does. We met at a video shop two years ago I was looking for Grey’s Anatomy season 7/8 and she offered to give me the Good wife if I had a flash. My initial thoughts were she’s a lesbian why is she nice? She wants to make me her statistic and brag to her friends that she has a black friend and she’s not a racist. Damn my mind sometimes I don’t know what to do with it, why must it always reflect ill of other peoples intentions? I didn’t have a flash with me so we had to make an appointment so she gave me her address. Long story short went over Donnas house the very next day that’s how much of an addict I am to these American series’ (Its bad I know but hey )
I don’t know what to call this because it is not inferior complex it’s something much deeper than that maybe its hate, no that’s too punitive is it anger maybe, whatever it is, clearly I have no idea how to best term it. Here’s a thing you will see why I don’t think that Don and I could ever be besties. Donna lives in a farm like house probably about 20 000 square meters, when I commented about how huge their yard was she told me it was her parent’s that’s one. Two ,Don is an Architecture that works from home probably only putting in two hours of work a day and with the amount of money she makes from that she could pay me for 5 years no seriously she could cover my salary for half a decade. Yes I know we have evolved, we (blacks) now have our very own architects etc that’s beside the point. Its 2013 but me being me I just never saw still don’t see any commonalities between Don and me bar for the love of American junk called TV series. So when ever Donna asks to meet up I always prefer that we meet at a coffee shop or something I have never invited her to my house. I only visited her once and I never liked the sensation I had subsequent to my visit to her house, at most I wanted to hate her because she lives in a house that could accommodate half of the Alexandra population, she makes more money than I do (yeah I know she studied and all) but think about it, not that I wanted to be an Architect, but when I was doing my matric I didn’t even know that the word existed never mind what it is that those people do. I want to blame this on something, you know where I am going with this but No I won’t go there instead let me focus. Sometimes I wonder if Donna could ever take me in if I were to ask, let’s say I was at a point where I could not afford to pay rent or something, I mean they have like 10 rooms they can’t conceivable be using all ten. She spend half a fortune on dog food (not picking on pet lovers I live with one thus), no we don’t have that much in common so she is a ‘Friend’
I know I am the only person on earth who has ‘friends’ and Friends spot the difference? I want to attribute this to the fact that I am a weirdo and I mean who would want to be friends with me. Never mind the fact that Technology had made making friends even easier (thank God for Social Networks).You wonder why then do I still have Don around why put myself through all of it surely it’s too much work. See the thing with us human beings is that we like belonging it’s in our nature and we cannot run away from it. More often than not when we come across people who share similar interests to those of us we want to have them around. One would be on some O.M.G you are a vegetarian too? Can you believe that I lived in Cape Town too? And so the friendship starts. I am terrible at keeping friends I must say, yet over the years I have improved and I have been blessed with a number of good ones. There is a saying made famous by John Donne (a poem actually) that says ‘no man is an island’ Man is a social being that cannot exist without his fellows. No one is self-sufficient and everyone relies on the other for successful survival .I will probably never see heaven because of what I am about to say, after thinking about it I figured I am using Don, maybe not in the same way she’s using me. I find it easier to chill with her when I want to take things easy and talk about nonsense. I have my people my middle of the night anytime friends whom I share my hopes and dreams with, they know where I’ve been they have seen me cry and laugh. How could I possible share with Don that I dream of one day owning a small cosy coffee shop, are you kidding me she would look at me crazy knowing what that requires. Yet if I tell this to my friends they will be on some;of course choma you can and you will you know dreams do come true.Don on the other hand will on some okay let’s say you go ahead with this crazy dream of yours; do you have a business plan in place? Your projections are they for a year two or five, who is your target market, are you planning on segmenting the market what of your pricing? See my head is spinning already, so don’t judge me if I sift what I tell Don and my other friend’s it’s just how things are. The truth of the matter is, even though my friends will not drill down to the core but one thing I know for sure is that if I were to pass God forbid they will attend my funeral, can’t say that much for Don and don’t ask me why funerals are so important to the black community I’m still yet to find that out.
In the meantime will continue using Don as a side Friend as much as she does me..


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