The dude is CraZy, I swear he is..

By show of hands how many of you have dated some crazy Guy. That guy mani the one that would never leave you alone no matter how many times you tell him you don’t fly like that ,dude be on some c’mon lets work on this. (Work on what?? You don’t know me, we not dating whats there to work on?) You will be blocking him on whatsapp today, tomorrow he’s calling you from an unknown number you pick up because you are on the job market right? (No seriously I mean job market as in work) next thing you know the voice on the other side murmurs something like I miss you, been trying to get a hold of you is there something wrong with your phone, what? Please if there’s anything that has something wrong in it would be your brain, but of course you don’t say that instead you try to be as polite as you can.
The truth is my crazy- Cray didn’t start out as Cray from day one no, guy was cool. This was years back been in JHB for just over a year, I am walking from Spar to Alison Street where I used to stay. What do I know, guy pulls over on the side of the road get off his car and he approaches me. On the outside he’s a total package, tall dark and you know the rest, I hate to say this but yes handsome. First thing he does is apologise (damn right it should be a sin to be that hot) and then he asks for my number oh well I try not to give in easily but eventually he gets the number (only because he got off his car). Off he drives, within two minutes I get a text message “hey gorgeous thank you for giving me your number I promise I will not abuse it” You don’t say me thinks what is this now ,okay puts the phone back in my bag. I swear a minute later he calls “hey did you get my text right now?” me sorry who is this trying to act cool “your future hubby” I wanted to laugh but before I could he says “just kidding its Tumi man the guy you just met now, and I’m like oh okay oh that was you okay yeah I did get the text and he says oh cool then chat later. Little did I know when he said later he literally meant 5 minutes
Tumi “ hey beautiful ,so what are you up to now?
Me haybo “ Well still walking towards my place”
Tumi “ Turn around, look behind you can you see me
Me “ ha LOL yeah I can see you
Tumi “ okay then”
Hayibo kanti what is this now…
Fast forward its Saturday morning, guess what oh well yeah you guessed it a text from Tumi “Good morning Angel” Creep I’m barely awake come one. Oh but my crazy-cray didn’t care if I was still sleeping or not he wanted to send that text and so he did, and many others that followed, in a space of an hour I would get MINIMUM 10 sms’s. You would think why wouldn’t I just tell him to stop well I didn’t know how to and maybe I was enjoying the attention a little even though I found his behaviour funny and creepy at the same time, (Confessions,confessions) and I was secretly hoping that he would get over the excitement and start to act normal.(I mean all that hotness -there has to be some brain there somewhere) Was I in for a shock or what, after declining dinner dates I gave in eventually. Well if you tell a guy in Johannesburg that you are new in town first thing they will ask you is “have you been to Sandton/ Mandela square?” Tumi was not about to disappoint either, so Sandton it was Trumps to be exact( can you be more basic than that?).Before we could order main I excused myself to go the bathroom ,fine off I went when I come out hawu ,here’s is Tumi waiting outside heheh so I ask ,what’s happening you don’t like it here should we go somewhere else? And he says “ No no sweety (brushing my shoulder, dude what are you doing) I didn’t want you to get lost going back to our table so I figured let me come and wait for my angel here “ You think I’m joking don’t you? Well I kid you not. Did I mention that he text me while I was walking to the bathroom “missing you already”. Freak what is this? This person is sick moss. So this time I’m thinking should I get a friend to call me and say that I need to be home because my geyser just burst, something, anything just to get me out of this (But then I was raised well unfortunately) so I stayed put myself through that nonsense yes – OH stupid me I hanged. And throughout dinner he was going on and on about how his ex who never appreciated him, how she cheated on him, poor him this poor him that his crappy childhood, somebody please save me from this. I couldn’t wait to get off his car to my place – heard him say ,you not even going to give me a hug as I was walking almost running pretending not to hear him. So I thought poor guy maybe I am being a little hard he’s not crazy he just likes cavernous. When I didn’t get text nor a call from him for two days I was so relieved, but my relief was short lived when Tuesday morning the receptionist at work called me to tell me that there was a delivery for me and I needed to sign for it, and I thought no she’s mistaken she probably got the wrong extension, I stayed put in my desk, the guy doesn’t know where I work so it can’t be him maybe its work related stuff off I went, and there it was a bouquet of roses so big I couldn’t see where the reception desk ended. Yes as you might have imagined that morning I was the envy of most of my colleagues women i.e. Comments and remarks were flying all over, if you think staff like that only happens in the movies then you haven’t lived son.
I will not bore you with some of the things he would say or do, Like he would call and I wouldn’t answer then he would call landline I had no way of avoiding it since I worked with external customers .He would drop messages like “I know you seeing other guys that’s why you are ignoring me” the next would be like “what is wrong with me why don’t you like me” others would be like “b*$&t you don’t know what you missing.( Really) What sin did I commit in my previous life to get such a punishment? What takes the cup though is this —– It’s Wednesday mid night I woke up to go to the loo, and I had nagging sensation that prompted me to peep through my window, and what do I see Lawd Jesus, son of Mary! Tumi’s car parked outside he’s inside sleeping how weird is that and that’s when I realised that I was seriously dealing with a stalker. Apparently a few of the security guys in that complex were on his payroll to check on what guy was going into my house, how long they stayed, what car they drove true story this.
What get one to be so messed up though, I mean it must take a lot to get to that point of madness. Okay I have done my fair share of stalking on someone I was crushing on maybe and did some crazy stuff that I can’t even put down to words(hides) but hayi No Tumi,Tumi was sick I swear…

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